

Seeking Commitment and Dealing with Family Estrangement in Dear Abby's Advice Column
Long-Term Relationship Uncertainty
A woman named "TO MARRY OR NOT IN ILLINOIS" is conflicted about her six-year relationship with Gary, who has not proposed. She values her independence but desires a commitment, feeling unsure about their future together.
Family Estrangement After Loss
"SO DISAPPOINTED IN VIRGINIA" shares her pain of feeling abandoned by her siblings who did not attend her late husband's memorial, leading to her withdrawal from family interactions.
Advice from Dear Abby
Abby advises open communication about commitment needs and understanding personal feelings without therapy. She also empathizes with the pain of being neglected by family during tough times, suggesting a cautious approach to personal relationships.

The woman's past experiences with independence and previous engagements have significantly influenced her current relationship expectations. Having been widowed and left to raise her children independently, she has developed a strong sense of self-reliance and is now very independent. This independence has shaped her feelings about remarriage, as there are times when she doesn't think she wants to remarry.
Additionally, her past engagement experiences have taught her that an engagement or even marriage isn't a magical solution to her desire for commitment. She has come to understand that a commitment involves more than just a legal or societal bond, and she is now seeking a deeper level of emotional connection and dedication from her partner.
Her experience with Gary, her current partner of six years, has shown her that she needs a stronger commitment from him in order to feel secure in their relationship. Her past experiences have made her more aware of her own needs and desires, and she is now at a point where she is questioning whether she should stay in the relationship or seek someone who is more willing to commit to her.
In essence, the woman's past experiences have shaped her current relationship expectations by making her more cautious about entering into another marriage or engagement, and by emphasizing the importance of emotional commitment and connection with her partner.

The woman is seeking a marriage commitment from Gary after six years of dating. She wants a proposal and a more formal commitment to their relationship.